Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Say WHAT?!

"If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth."
~Logan Pearsall Smith~

Since becoming a target of Organized Gang-Stalking, I learned to state first-hand facts without embellishment and to alert the listener when the story I'm telling is theoretical or hearsay.
     Perhaps it's because I'm so exacting that I am deemed a liar. It's a fact that people eschew what I have to say. The fact that I can backup most of my words with documentation matters not; no one cares to see it. Most prefer to believe I am full of shit and leave it at that...IF I am asked to tell my side of the story, which is rare.
     Not once in the 7.6 year Slander Campaign engendered by the stalkers that has ruined my reputation and put me in harm's way has anyone bothered to ask me if what they heard is true. I find it odd, for what they've heard runs from the ridiculous to the sublime to the downright dangerous.      According to the perps, I am a:

》Kiddy-porn film maker
》Meth cook and needle junkie 
》Madam and a ho
》Satanic worshipper and witch
》Money bags
》Disrespectful, lacking ettiquette
     The last entries on the above list are most recent. It is said I am disrespectful by those who proved to be faux friends and stole from me, and I was told I lack ettiquette by a woman who spat forth the charming phrase, "Lick me where I shit."
     The gang-stalkers are well aware that their slander wreaks hands-on havoc in my life, while the non-targeted non-participants find what I have to say unbelievable, the non-partisaned standers-by do not care and the authorities add to the frey by saying I see "little green men" in my computer. 
     Say what?
     My computers were compromised beyond repair starting in 2006. I'm a published author without a working machine since 2009; in fact, I use a mobile phone to access the Internet. Still, I am forced to change cell phones and phone numbers more often than some folks change their underwear because my phones are hijacked on a regular basis.
     Were I to set down on paper in chronological order, all that has befallen me since I arrived in Ruidoso... or even since September 2013, Steven King would beg permission for authorship and movie rights. 
     FACT: ALL of that which has happened to me - IS happening to me - has occured as a result of my first being slandered and subsequently, due to people who choose to embrace lies over truth, falsely assume and/or accuse, and REACT to what they've heard without considering the source or bothering to validate a fucking thing. 
     I've said this before, in prior blog posts, that in order to stop the newly targeted from being gang-stalked, the slander must be nipped in the bud. But, victims of this on-going hate crime do not realize they are being set-up for a fall at the onset. The slander has already taken root in the deep minds of neighbors, co-workers,  business associates, shop-owners, aquaintances, friends, lovers, life-mates, family, law enforcement personelle and total strangers, and it appears to be too late to do anything about it, especially if you don't know who started it.
     Still, to my way of thinking, there is truth and the lie, and there is FACT and the lie. 
     Truth is a matter of perception, colored shades of gray and a paradox at best, but FACTS are, for the most part, irrefutable. In other words, 10 witnesses at an accident whereupon someone was killed may see 10 different things, but the victim is dead, and that's a fact.
     Slander can be refuted with factual information at any time if one  knows who is responsible for perpetrating the lies and it can be proven that what is said is the cause of damage to life, limb and property.
     I have yet to practice what I preach and file a lawsuit for Defamation of Character, though I know the culprits by name, I have evidence and my life is in shambles because of it. My problem with doing so is, win or lose, the material damage is done and the perps don't have a pot to piss in, so there  will be no restitution. Neither will I be vindicated even if my reputation is restored; there is too much water under the bridge for me to trust apologizes from people who came after me based on what somebody told them - with or without proof.
     Sorry IS as sorry DOES. 
     I was new here. The slander preceded my arrival. I was assailed by total strangers right from the start, subject to unprovoked attack. I can't imagine doing the same to someone, known or unknown, were the situation reversed.
     Case in point: I've been seeing someone on and off for the past two years, who was told I was trying to set him up two months into our relationship. He did an abrupt turn around, threw me into a wall and threatened me. He never spent a full night with me again, came and went sporadically, and took up with three other women in the course of our relattionship - and  he put them first.
     Finally, he moved without telling me. When I found out where he lived, he banned me from going to his apartment because his latest girlfriend lived next door and he didn't want me to know about her. When he relented and invited me to his home, he threw me out, claiming I was disrespectful to him or his environment. 
     His girlfriend made sure he was privvy to slander put forth by people who don't even know me and who claim I disrespected them, so he took up the gauntlet. 
     I was thrown out 9/10 I was invited to visit him, for reasons that boggled my mind: I was a "lying, thieving whore like the rest of them", a sexual "tease", a "game-player", taking disrespectful liberties and telling him what to do. 
     I knew he had been compromised against me, though he denied it. I told him not to contact me, but he kept coming back to love me and leave me over and over again. I made a valiant effort to make him believe in me when we were together in hope to turn it all around because I was in love with him, but his suspicion, doubt and distrust of me continued to grow, and his treatment of me got worse. 
     Finally, I told him, "NO CONTACT" and tried to make it stick. But, he came around and I lost my resolve one last time. This time he hit me upside the head, so hard that I crumbled to the floor and saw stars. Then he grabbed me by the hair on both sides of my head and held my face one inch from his screaming that I dissatified him sexually and deserved everything I got, and then opened the dpor to throw me out, though I was stark naked.
     I kept my wits about me long enough to get my clothes on, grab my pocketbook and truck keys and go. 
     He told me if I called the police he'd kill me. I believe he was trying to kill me all along by driving me to commit suicide in ever greater measure. I am more afraid of him now that he no longer has a soft spot for me as that was the only thing to keep him in check.
     He was a bad guy to begin with, capable of loving kindness, bur volatile to a fault. He hates the perps, but chooses to live among them for, like it or not, they are his peers.
     Cons and ex-cons rule in Ruidoso, NM. If you've never been incarcerated, you are nothing and no one worthy to be given the time of day. 
     Well, I've got news for all the Billy The Kid impersonators who think it's okay to slander me to the point of putting my life in jeapardy: You are not all THAT.       
     Incarceration doesn't make a hair on the ass of what it's like to be gang-stalked. I've got your solitary confinement right here.
     I've never known "lonely" like this before I came to this place, where liars are held in high esteem, facts are a figment of the imagination and  I am thought of as a liar for telling the truth.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Too Many Monsters... Too Little Time

"Whoever battles with monsters had better see that it does not turn him into a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you."
~Friedrich Nietzsche~

I lost all my long term friends soon after I relocated to Ruidoso, NM, in October 2006. Two commited suicide; the others went away after my both my laptop computers were hijacked and my new up and coming website development, design & hosting business was destroyed. Following those occurences, I literally had no means to remain in contact with the outside world for a long time. 
     That's how the gang-stalking started and it was here in Ruidoso, NM, that it all began, thanks to the vicious slander put forth by my ex-husband, Bill Schillings, who targeted me approximately 5 years after our divorce in December 2001.
     My neighbors and many other local folk were compromised against me by the slander prior to my arrival. Since, after being innundated with perps, I am allowed only one person in my life at a time, a Reindeer "friend" or "lover" who plays Reindeer Games because they are one of THEM. All  acquaintances, and potential friends and lovers who are not affiliated with the stalkers are either recruited or frightened away.
     I ASSUME that's what happens. No one asks me for my side of the story or tells me straight up why they suddenly stop engaging with me. They are here one minute, gone the next - ALL OF THEM. 
     The person sent by the gang-stalkers who is to be my darling companion - aka handler, watcher, babysitter or WTF ever you want to call them (I've been known to call them lots of names) starts off the "relationship" in all sincerity and understanding, in need of help and with promises abundant help back at me. Two weeks in, they tip their hand by doing something bordering on sadistic, something bad enough to give me pause and for them to leave me alone. 
     Then, once the dust settles, they come back and do it all over again, only worse; always, they up the drive-me-to-suicide anti, hoping to break me down.
     Pop psychology says the onerous is on me; I am responsible for what ails me and it's up to me to end the cycle of abuse by refusing them entry and by no longer engaging with them or people like them.
     But, those who believe that jargon go home to a nice, warm, fully-functional house with hot, running water and a flush toilet, while I come home to bathe in a pot and shit in a bucket in a freezing cold house although my utility bills were paid in full, because mine is not a perfect world. 
     I am targeted because my ex-husband wanted MY house and later compensated the local theft ring leader with MY house to pay HIS debt. I'm a passenger on a run-away train careening down a one way track. 
     I live in Gang-Stalking World due to the greed and jealousy of hateful others, through no fault of my own.
     If I am at fault it's due to being shunned and isolated. I get attached easily or fall in love with the wrong person or I choose to believe the sob stories I'm told or I think the perps will have mercy on me and see the light or Prince Charming will come to my rescue and take me away from all this. 
     But, the meth addicts, thieves and/or violent felon who are without conscience and have nothing to lose, are those who are sent my way to babysit, rob me and hurt me to the bone. Time and again, I am kissed by a frog and awaken to the silent scream nightmares are made of instead.
    Still, when I start to balk and complain too loudly, I am soon offered a RELAY-tionship, a stalker who once had a foot in my door who is here temporarily until the handler I'm rejecting and ejecting either makes a comeback or the shotcaller finds a replacement I am willing to allow in to fool me and hurt me again.
     It took courage on my part and was tantamount to chewing off a limb, but I recently send my hitman-handler of the past 2 years packing, discouraged the relays and now refuse to open my door - or my legs - to another contender sent to help me to meet my demise. 
     I am currently handler-free. There is no one to monitor me or raise me up to new heights, only to drop me on my head. 
     Call me Patty Herst. Maybe I suffer from the Stockholm Syndrome. I don't know what to do with them or myself.
     The stalkers happy that I am without a handler. I can feel them wracking their collective shit-for-brains regarding who to send in to dupe me into acceptance, attachment and/or love next. 
     Chance encounters and REAL-ationships no longer exist for me; like natural gas and running water, a real-ationship may never exist for me again.
     Too many monsters... too little time.
     The stalkers already stole 7.6 of the last best years of my life. Now I'm 61 years old. The monsters are still out to get me and time is NOT on my side.
     No one is... THAT'S a fact. 
     I fell hard for my last Reindeer Lover, but when he dropped the mask, I took off my rose-colored glasses and stopped "he loves me, he loves me not" from running around in my head.
   He loves me NOT.
     He is a hater. He hates me for being a good person. Moreso, he hates me for loving him and disdains me for my weakness and stupidity in the face of who he is and what he was ultimately sent my way to do.
     I want to know love... I want to dance and sing and be free to have a life again
     But, my time is spent battling monsters in the guise of gang-stalkers. 
     I have no fear becoming one of them. They are what I NEVER was nor EVER will I be... but, although I will not gaze into the abyss, the abyss IS gazing into me.

Friday, March 28, 2014


"Chew it up and spit it out," is what a Reindeer Friend, who is no longer in my life and who I strongly suspect is a gang-stalker, said to me on Facebook in reference to a status report on being gang-stalked posted sometime back in September 2012. This was my reply:
      "I have no reason to "chew it up"; I don't eat from the Crock of Shit someone hands me in the first place."
     "You may be surprised to learn that the majority of folks 'round here not only "chew it up..."; they SWALLOW the entire Crock, shit and all."
     "Some of the shit put out there is so hard to swallow you'd think people would choke on it, but I imagine a turd in the punch bowl adds the perfect touch to the beverage with which they wash it all down."
     "In fact, it may very well be that the Crock of Shit rivals Velveeta, Ranch and Barbeque as the fine diners' gourmet food of choice, while cavier is used as bait and having an appetite for Chinese food labels those who indulge it as political dissidents to be placed on a Watch List!"
     "It's to be expected when it's commonplace, socially acceptable, even virtuous, for people to SHIT where they eat."
     "Indeed, "you are what you eat" holds true, as evidenced by the high percentage of Shit-for-Brains and Diarrhea of the Mouth among certain peer groups wherein the Crock of Shit serves as the community toilet bowl the herd mind collectively fails to flush."
     "Rather, when the Crock overflows, the shit is flung out the window along with the baby and the e.coli-infected bath water, making it difficult for innocent passers-by not to come up stinking."

(Citations to come.)


"Honesty is the cruelest game of all, because not only can you hurt someone - and hurt them to the bone - you can feel self-righteous about it at the same time."
~Dave Van Ronk~

What if someone:
     》Is deliberately dishonest and self-righteous about it?
     》Makes an erroneous assumption, follows it up with a false accusation, ACTS on it and GETS EVEN with you should you dare REact to their allegations that are wrong and wholly subjective in the first place?
     》Slanders you to all and sundry, hell and back, and with lies so vicious they can get you killed?
      THAT is what the gang-stalkers do.
     Life is hard enough without the games people play. If you are a gang-stalking target like me, life is even harder.
     People don't seem to "know their levels", which means being cognizant of just how much another person can hear, absorb and/or tolerate in the way of truthful information.
     Most people don't know their OWN levels and the gang-stalkers obviously don't care about levels. They just want their victims to hurt.

  * * *  
Our ability to perceive any given situation is unique; ten witnesses at an accident are apt to report ten different versions of the same incident.
     Some people have high physical pain thresholds; other people can't tolerate much in the way of pain at all.
     Emotional pain is no different. What sends one person through the ceiling will send another person through the floor.
     Brutal honesty is not always the best policy nor is it always necessary. I don't like omissions of truth; sometimes it's better to say nothing at all. There is no point in hurting someone if it can be avoided.
     Nine out of ten times, people tell the truth because they feel guilty and/or are afraid they will be found out for something they've done. Their motive is a selfish one and they are the only one to benefit.
     I have no problem with honesty. I can own what I do. I handle everything, even the gang-stalking, within the confines of the law when necessary. If you are a target, I suggest you do the same. The gang-stalkers have discredited us enough. If we act out, we prove them right, so don't do it.
     Be that as it may, I do have a huge problem with dishonesty. I staunchly refuse to own what isn't mine; it belongs to the liar, not to me.
     Taking this stance makes me look bad. People say, "You are NEVER at fault. What did you do to THEM to make them gang-stalk you?"
     The answer is, "Nothing."
     I did nothing wrong to cause the gang-stalking. My ex-husband wanted my house. He targeted me or took the ball and ran with it. End of story.
     Since then, I've done what's necessary to protect myself and I will call the police depending on who is making the trouble.
     I don't initiate problems, though sometimes I'm guilty of perpetuating them. There's only so much bullshit in the way of slander I can take. Rewriting my history, editing my script and presenting this detritus to ME as if I'm brain-dead - sets me off. I was there. I don't have Alzheimer's.
     But when viewed from another perspective, the lies that the gang-stalkers tell about me let me know who they are and what they have done or are doing to me. This is because they always tell the First Lie.
     I've mentioned the First Lie before and will no doubt mention it again. It's important for targets to know how it works.
     The perps will slander a target in accordance with their most recent attack and accuse the victim of doing it to them.
     They villianize victims on a continuous basis to invalidate us and keep us isolated. Then they send in a Reindeer Friend or Lover to create chaos and place a target under duress in an attempt to drive us to "suicide". If that doesn't work, they do something to cause a freak "accident".
     It's standard, a routine part of the script...
     It's also attempted hands-off murder, all in a day's work and a dime bag.
     I hope they choke on it considering all the damage they've done to me and mine, and to other targets like me.
     One would think dishonesty weighed in equal measure with honesty. But, I think it weighs more because I can refute it and provide hardcore proof that the stalkers tell lies, but people believe what they want to believe, and to date, not only will no one look at the proof - no one other than other TIs have ever bothered to ask me a damn thing regarding my side of the story.
      "Put it in the past", I am told.
     How can I do that when it's the "gift that keeps on giving"?
     Gang-stalking is an on-going HATE crime. When it stops, I'll STFU about it. If they shut me up, my attorney and several trusted others have access to my evidence and know who to prosecute.
     Then the truth will outweigh the lies and my honesty will come back to haunt those who are dishonest - and no SELF-righteousness about it.
     Just RIGHTEOUSNESS, since the dead tell no tales.
     But, I AM HERE NOW -here to tell you I don't need negative attention, I have no reason to lie and the "truth WILL out".

Wednesday, March 19, 2014


"The devil is God as It is misunderstood 
by the wicked."
~Old Hermetic Axiom~

This blog is a sidetrack to my usual way of addressing my evil fate as a victim of the on-going hate crime commonly known as Gang-Stalking. I have posted it several times; each time it is hacked and rendered unreadable.
     I don't know. It is simply my take regarding the practice of Satanism that is, if not part and parcel, an off-shoot of Gang-Stalking.
     I can say with conviction that Satanism is practiced by some of my stalkers, one of whom established the Satanic Church that is on the outskirts of town several miles away many moons ago.
     One need not believe in the devil and it's minions to suffer it's ill effects. Black magic is not what most might think. 
     It is, in essense, manipulating someone or a group of people against their will, or causing them to believe a lie and act on it.
     It is also a form of black magic to focus one's attention upon a person and hold them in a dark light, especially when negative thoughts are accompanied by bad feelings, such as jealousy, lust or wrath.
     Thoughts are things. 
     Nothing would be accomplished without thought. The aforementioned activities are thoughts and deeds people unconsciously indulge on a daily basis. It is wrong and hurtful, but when done with individual or collective intent, such as occurs when one is gang-stalked, it can cause illness,  sometimes leading to death.

* * * * *

The Bible says, "Satan is the ruler of this world." (John 12:31, 14:30, &, 16:11)
     If Satan was cast from the heavens and given the Earth to rule, then it stands to reason:
》We are not going TO hell
》We are IN hell. 
》We need to get OUT of hell.
     Yet, because humankind is "....of the earth, earthy...", comprised of flesh and blood and bone, we all share in the human condition: All of us are born to die due to our genetic inheritance, belonging in part to God and in part to the earth that is ruled by Satan.
     If we choose to align ourselves with the Christ that is Love, the Christ will fight for our salvation and champion us through the final battle for salvation of the World Soul that is all the souls on earth in one.
     Meanwhile, we are vulnerable because we live in Satan's shadow.
     Therefore, it is through the people with whom we associate, the places we frequent and the things we acquire that we may become acquainted with and/or tainted by evil.
     Those who lust for power over the earth, it's wealth and/or inhabitants, are wont to align with Satan and risk loosing their souls to the devil. Thus, Lucifer will champion their souls in the final battle for all souls.
* * * * *  

There is no mistaking the sinister, hair-raising feeling emanated by evil when it makes it's presence known; yet, more often then not, evil is so subtle as to be barely perceptible, well-hidden behind the Pretense that is naught but a Lie. 
     It is very difficult to discern the evil in our midst because we are constantly desensitized by, bombarded with and/or immersed in Hollywood's razzle-dazzle, the news media blitz and all the other "fast food" fun and games offered up 24/7 by modern Western Society.
     Too, Lucifer is the most beautiful angel, even though it is the evil  antithesis of the Christ that is Love.
     Or, so it seems to our straight-line way of thinking that causes us to interpret the world around us with divided perception that separates what we see, each with our own unique ability to cognize, into polar opposites, such as black and white, chaos and order, evil and good, and so on...
     Yet, in reality, there is no separation - not if we believe God is One and the Creator of all things, for the truth is hidden in plain sight:
》The planets are round and move in circular motion.
》DNA spirals up and down the spinal cord.
》Leaves circle as they fall to the ground and are blown about by swirling gusts of wind.
     The reality of things AS THEY ARE shows us that linear thinking is not in keeping with the natural order of the world around us. We only see a partial picture, a snapshot taken in the moment with no before and after. Still, we know there two sides of the sun and two sides of the moon, each side belonging to one and the same orb, even though we only see one side and have little concept of the other.
     Ostensibly, the other side is the Unknown and most of us fear what we do not know.
     Thus, "the devil is God as it is misunderstood by the wicked" holds true for too many, which is why evil runs amuck and rules our world.
     We will continue to see only a small portion of the greater whole - and an even smaller portion of the Greater Good - unless we let go the old mental constructs and expand our breath of vision to consciously embrace and foster the Greater Good for all humankind.
     Each one of us is responsible for his/her own fate even though our destiny is not etched in stone or even relegated to one incarnation.
     We all have many incarnations in one lifetime, reincarnating with every forward motion and leaving the past behind in order to reach our goal, realize our fate, manifest our destiny.
     But, this action is due to linear thinking, too.
     The can be no end result, no perfection on earth, if we are to believe in eternal life and a world without end.

Eternity is Forever.
     "Forever" has valleys to cross and mountains to climb, but even if the last descent is higher than the previous ascent, still there will be more, with new and improved pitfalls along the way.

* * * * *    

Many years ago, I consciously chose Christ to champion my soul upon entrance into the Dark Night of the Soul that tested my mettle against the visible and invisible forces of evil that rule this world. 
     The battle that ensued was at once a holy war waged in heaven and an unholy holocaust fought in hell on earth that was inside me!
     The Evil One was present throughout what seemed an eternity, in it's true and monstrous form, palpable in the physical sense,  to sight, sound, smell and taste, with the exception of touch. It could not touch me for all that it overwhelmed me with repulsion and fear.
     I felt I was close to death and I prayed that Christ be the winner take all, having born witness to the devil that is every vice and plague and depravity and atrocity perpetrated by people who choose evil over good and Satan over Christ.

* * * * *

Indeed, there ARE evil people in this world. Collectively, they comprise the entity that is the Beast named in the Biblical book of Revelations.
     The mission of the Beast is to capture and imprison souls that bear the mark of the Christ, in an attempt to tip the scales of balance toward the side of evil as all of humankind enters into the Dark Night of the World Soul, in preparation for the final battle that draws ever near.
     Free will allows us to choose who will champion our soul - God or the devil. 
     Take your pick. 
     There is no devil for those who are united with God. There is only God, who is One and the Creator of All Things.

Thursday, March 13, 2014


"Empathy is really 
the opposite of 
spiritual meanness. 
It's the capacity to understand that every war is both won and lost. And that someone else's pain is as meaningful as your own."
~Barbara Kingsolver~

When I first became a permanant resident of Ruidoso, NM, back in 2006, before I knew what gang-stalking was or that "TAG!", I was  "IT", I couldn't believe the changes I observed in the demeanor of the people here. All seemed so very grim, unwdlcoming and uninviting. It was downright scary.
      I went to the local police department to ask what was wrong and was told by then Lieutenant Gore that it would take more than 10 swat teams to clean up the methamphetamine trafficking in this town and we just didn't hVe the manpower.
     I thanked him for the information and pondered what that meant for a long time thereafter.
     I hadn't used recreational drugs since 1982. I lived a fairly quiet life-style in places where drug-use was kept under wraps. I didn't read the paper or watch the news. I didn't realize what was going on right under my own nose in my own house here in Ruidoso or that I would eventually fall prey to it for a time, also.
     It took me two years to get the majority of the people my ex-husband had in my house gone. I didn't hate them; in fact, I was fond of some and I still am. But, like ferrets, they are adorable, but the damage they do outweighs their charm. Plus, it seems people didn't like me then - and insofar as I can tell, they STILL don't like me (which tells me I'm doing something right).
     I didn't find out about my ex-husband's slander campaign or the gang-stalking until much later. That's not to say I wasn't told about the gang-stalking, but just as it sounds like crazy-talk to non-participants and non-targets when we try to tell our tale of woe, it sounded like crazy-talk to me, too.
     I tried to listen, but I just couldn't hear it.
Much time has passed and with it, too much muddy water under the proverbial bridge, so much that I'm surprised the bridge is still standing.
     No one is getting any younger, no one is benefiting save for a moment's cheap thrill of the kill and nothing has changed, except now I know:
》What happened to me
》What it's called
》Who did what
》Why they did it, and
》Who is still doing the gang-stalking.
     Those of us who are aware we are targeted are indeed aware of what's happening to us and how the gang-stalkers go about doing it. Therefore, even if the stalkers still get away with it, their OPs are not so covert anymore.      
     Targets are talking and beginning to fight back.
     Still, because the majority of my stalkers are tweakers and I am a target for seven-plus years, I couldn't help but observe the effects of the drug over time.
     In my humble opinion and hard-won experience, people who use meth for many years, especially intravenous users, lack the ability to empathize. Therefore, they are either not cognizant of the pain they inflict on others or they feel nothing and do not care who they hurt or how much they hurt them.
     Too, over-indulgence in the drug can cause a user to present with meth-induced psychosis, which can be devastating to the addict and others. Usually the psychotic episode ends as the drug wears off, but sometimes it doesn't go away or is triggered by memory, much like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), even if the drug is no longer used.
     What you have then is someone who sees, hears, tastes, touches and/or smells someone or something that is very real to them, but in reality, isn't there and ain't happening.
      However, a person having no empathy is, to my mind, much more disturbing and dangerous because while psychosis is apparent and more often than not subsides, there is no indication a person cannot feel your pain...
     ....until, that is, a situation arises wherein they do not react accordingly, with common consideration, courtesy, kindness and a good, old-fashioned dose of human sympathy thrown in for good measure.
     No one is perfect. Everyone is inconsiderate or unkind at times. Some folks are born gruff.
     But, I have witnessed complete personality changes in people I've known for years (my ex-husband being one), whereupon the nice person went South, vacating the premises without warning, and a mean-spirited stranger moved in and set up shop in their stead.
     The less obvious cases are more alarming: The person is warm and loving one moment and, without provocation,  becomes a hateful, raging Leviathan the next.
     Is it live or Memorex?
     Perhaps only their hairdresser knows for sure.
     All I know for sure is: A lack of empathy, the inability to learn from past mistakes, an over-blown sense of entitlement to appropriate things unearned and/or belonging to someone else, feigned remorse with no real regret and acting WITHOUT CONSCIENCE are all personality traits indicative of psychopathic behavior.
     Coming to this conclusion answered another question I posed to Dawna, the police advocate, several years ago after checking the stats regarding the number of psychopaths in Ruidoso. Per capita, our allotment totaled 90; but, I was told there were approximately 200 known psychopaths in the area and whereas they are commonly Lone Rangers, here they opted for communal living. My question was, "Why?"
     There was no answer forthcoming.
      Now, i believe I may have hit upon the answer, though I wish I never had the experiences I've shared herein this blogspot that have prompted me to answer my own question.
     Long-term methamphetamine use kills the Dopamine receptors in the brain that produce feel-good feelings, such as joy, happiness, peace and contentment, and it deadens the  areas of the brain that trigger feelings of sympathy, empathy and caring for others, too.
     In essense, meth creates monsters out of some long-term users; they become psychopathic people who do not care if you live or if you die.
     This means that any place rife with methamphetamine and it's users is suseptible to becoming a Town Without Conscience, because:
     a) It's users may lose their ability to care, and should this happen,
     b) The non-users may grow too afraid to show they care or stop caring altogether as well.
     I don't blame people for fearing to show they care. I've been crucified because I wear my heart on my sleeve. But, I see myself becoming more selfish, too.
     If no one cares or people fear extending a helping hand lest it gets bit off at the wrist, one hasn't much choice but to fend for and keep to one's self. I've been told to do this many times; very early on in fact. But it's just one more concept I haven't been able to wrap my brain around, though I think I've got it now:
     The Mutant Future is upon us! The drooling zombies are here! "Run, Forest, run!"
     Or, if you are a gang-stalking target, like me, stay put among the devils you know, have no friends and TRUST NO ONE.

(Citations to come)

Friday, February 28, 2014


"The schizophrenic mind is not so much split as shattered. I like to say schizophrenia is like a waking nightmare."
~Elyn Saks~
Likewise, the psychopathic mind is not so much predatory as amoral. I like to say psychopathy is like a self-serving convenience.
     Not all psychopaths are gang-stalkers, but the majority of gang-stalkers, if not actual psychopaths, are psychopathic, and psychopathic personality types do not play by the rules, even if we do.
     There is NO honor among these unremorseful thieves of material resources, lifeforce and time. They can - and will - size you up in a heartbeat,  mimic your vulnerabilities, create a sympathetic rapport,  raise you up to great heights, eat your vitals while you still live and breathe, throw you down, kick you to the curb and walk away - easy - before you even know their real or full name. And, repeat the entire scenario with their next victim, who was already selected in the midst of their dealings with you!
     Psychopathic behavior is ritualized. I liken it to an extreme form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), an anxiety disorder characterized by repetitive thoughts and  behaviors; however, while people with OCD are distressed by their irrational actions, the psychopath feels justified and satisfied with his behavior, so much so that he can't wait to do it again and again, upping the anti each time.
     This is one reason why psychopathic people make good gang-stalkers and why methamphetamine use is prevalent among multiple-stalkers.
     Meth destroys empathy and compassion as it burns out these receptors  in the brain. Therefore, long term and/or intraveous use of the drug changes a person's personality because when the brain is altered, the personality is altered too.
     Interesting that non-targets trust the word of psychopathic gang-stalkers when they defame targets by saying we are schizophrenic. I've been labeled that and worse, and none of it true.
     But, what I'm saying regarding those who engage in the stalking is true for many involved.      
     Some of my stalkers have questioned their inability to feel another's pain, but seem to prefer being cold, callous and unfeeling. And, I can't help but think that our pain is their pleasure because they go out of their way to cause it.
     Consequently, gang-stalking targets experience more hardship than we know what to do with in one lifetime; in fact, I never heard of anyone having as many set-backs and mishaps as we do save Biblical Job from the land of Uz.
     However, because we are labeled "schizophrenic" by the gang-stalkers, because "....this is a hate crime made to sound unbelieveable when any attempt is made to describe it..." and because the general public is mis- or uninformed about gang-stalking, no one believes us or that gang-stalking even exists.
     Still, if gang-stalking is an urban legend and it's all in my head, would someone please 'splain what happened to me from Oct 2006 to date?
      I ask because I did not choose to live like Pioneer Woman for the past four winters. My utility bills were paid, I can name names as to who did the damage to my water pipes, who I suspect upped my electricity and water usage with a remote EMF device and who caused me to have no brakes and no natural gas as a result.
    The gang-stalkers say targets are "crazy", but omit the qualifier - the premeditated ACTion deliberately initiated by the stalkers to illicit the target's irate or overly-emotional RE-action - when telling others of our heinous transgressions against society.
     Furthermore, according to the stalkers, targets are on a "self-destruct".
     We inflict any and all injuries to life and limb that occur due to our stalkers upon ourselves.
     We damage our own property, disable our own vehicles, hack our own computers, poison our own pets, destroy our own reputations, relationships, careers and credit ratings, and ultimately, we destroy ourselves, too, via suicide or freak accident, all the while pointing a finger at innocent community members who are only trying to help us.
     The gang-stalkers say we do these terrible things because we are unable to cope with reality, yet fail to mention THEIR part in causing us to experience extreme duress, grief, humiliation and dispair.
     Dare we try to find out what is happening to us, who is doing it, how and why, we are silenced and outcast, like the proverbial Goat in the Wilderness.
     The guilty parties do not want to hear it, lest our complaining elicits sympathy from the non-participants who may be in a position to help us.
     Very few believe us when we attempt to describe machinations designed to appear commomplace.
     Those who do believe us aren't giving us the satisfaction of letting on for fear they may be obligated to do something about it - or simply due to fear itself.    
     Times are tough. Many people are struggling to make ends meet. We need to be able to fend for themselves if we are to survive gang-stalking with our souls and sanity intact.
     People believe in a God they've never seen, yet disbelieve the victims of an on-going hate crime who stand before them in the flesh and in obvious need of help.
     This means we must live our truth alone as best we may until that day comes when our collective predictaments arising from the unknown creature with one head and many bodies that follows the same script and shares the same modus operandi is neutralized or annihilated by media   exposure, common knowledge and the US Supreme Court.
     Yet, until that day arrives, psychopathic gang-stalkers will convince their unwary listeners that their victims are the perpetrators and they are the victims, and targets will have to live with labels and lies that obscure who we really are.
     It's a travesty of justice, but the real shame is on our family, friends and loved ones who buy into the bullshit though they know us better than that.

Monday, January 27, 2014


....then again, SO AM I. :-)
Re. The commentary I allowed to be visible on my blog, citing the US government as being behind gang-stalking:
Call me Pollyanna; yet, while I am well aware of the terrorist watch that commenced with the inception of 911 and Homeland Security, all this talk about US government gang-stalking makes me sick.
     If I were a terrorist, perhaps I'd get on the anti-government band wagon, but I personally have no evidence to support claims such as this.

There are organized crime rings, great and small, and affiliated motorcycle clubs in just about every town, networked throughout every state in the union, with rules and regulations that must be memorized and followed by each and every member.
     IF these groups are responsible for the gang-stalking, considering their numbers, common sense would indicate that perhaps the authorities may be stymied in terms of how to go about indicting the ring leaders and their accomplices without causing Street World War lll and without  bringing more harm to those of us who are already targeted in addition to non-targeted non-participants.
     Here in Ruidoso NM, Organized Gang-Stalking is called "The Script" and said to be fashioned after the screenplay cum movie, Gaslight.

I am subject to electronic harassment (EH). My neighbor, two doors down,  the same one I allege reversed my brakehose and who I believe, based on what I've witnessed first-hand and on informatiin come to me on good authority, is using a remote Jammer and  EMF device to skew my utility meter readings to the end they reflect higher usage.
     FYI. Any moron can purchase these EH devices online or off for $35 and up, and mess with people's lives until their black heart is content.
I am not a dolt. I realize that the government and/or the authorities may be involved in some cases; but, not necessarily in EVERY case.

My dealings with the world-at-large are up front, close and personal; still, I do not initiate trouble nor do I want to instigate further problems than I already have through no apparent fault of my own.

I contend that MY take on the matter of Organized Gang-Stalking is equally feasible, more logical and highly probable, in MY case, if not in the case of others.

WTF do any of us know beyond limited facts, our own individual perception and conjecture, all of which makes "truth" a paradox at best?

Jack Shit next to nada, if you ask me.


"The best way to counter-attack a hater is to make it blatantly obvious that their attack has had no impact on you."
~Timothy Ferriss~

I haven't blogged since my truck brakes failed back a few months back.
     The truck went careening backwards down my steep hill aka front lawn, to be stopped by my fruit trees only a few feet from my house. This happened as I put it in reverse to park.
     Me and my dog jumped out of the vehicle and ran for safety. Ungortunately, the truck ran over my natural gas line on the way down, which was exposed when once not too long ago, was buried underground. Gas whooshed under the chassi and permeated the air. It took the local police, the fire department, the gas company and a wrecker several hours to stop the leak and lift my truck up and over the gasline and back onto the street. There was talk of evacuating the entire neighborhood before all was said and done.
     $600-plus later, the mechanic who inspected my vehicle determined the cause of my having no brakes was "negligence".
     The mechanic sent by the Mormon church to fix my "no brakes" problem that occured in June 2012, assisted by my neighbor who lives two doors down, (unbeknownst to me for I was uninformed the mechanic was coming until after the fact and not at home at the time he arrived), had inadvertently put the brakehose in backwards.
     I had no truck from mid-September through early November 2013 because the driveline cracked due to the incorrectly installed brakehose. It's driveable for the moment, albeit I'm missing both sideview mirrors, one taillight is out, the back fender is ripped, the back bumper down and the body has a few more dings.
     Now both sides match, the other side damaged by hate-loving gang-stalkers just by virtue of being parked on the street in front of my house. Needless to say, I don't park it there anymore. It's parked where my vigilant neighbors can see it and I can hear it. My newly installed silent alarm system is set to go off if someone so much as breathes on it.

The above is just one example of the kind of things haters do for the sake of...
     I don't get off on doing people this way. Other people's pain is NOT my pleasure. But, then again, I'm not a hater.
     Neither am I public nuisance, political dissident, corporate traitor, drug trafficker, pedophile or ex-con nor do I have outstanding warrants or any felonies on record.
     Still, I am a gang-stalking target from October 2006 to date. And, when I think about it, my being gang-stalked may actually have started in May of 2004. Ten years a victim of an on-going crime...
     ....go figure.
     That's a lot of hell heaped on one person whose primary function in life was self-improvement and instilling confidence in others.
     One question I pose to myself and others is: How do those of us who are targets of this heinous HATE crime find ourselves again?
     While it's necessary to understand who is doing this to us, why they are doing it and how, once we have this information, we need to take care of ourselves, and each other, too.
     We've lost a lot in the way of friends, family, significant others, beloved pets, property, career and reputation, not to mention YEARS, all because of haters who take pleasure in the pain and suffering of others.
     How much more blood, sweat and tears do you care to give to their cause?      Maybe it was good for them, but was it good for you? NOT.

Whoever you are, if you are a target, I suspect you are a descent person, despite your faults.
     We ALL have a shadow side; however, some shadows are darker than others.
     I've done things I'm not proud of in ignorance or out of my own stupidity, but I know for a FACT I've done NOTHING to warrant being gang-stalked by psychopathic haters who get their rocks off in the name of God, country, mom and apple pie.
     This is NOT the American way as I know it.
     This in not in ANY way acceptable to any righteous, God-loving, God-fearing person upholding justice in these United States or in any NATO country.
     I won't throw the proverbial "baby out with the bath water" due to a corrupt few.

I know of what I speak based on experience: I have little money, no natural gas and no heat save a fireplace that consumes approximately twenty cords of wood per winter, which I have to hunt and gather myself or freeze.
     I have no water, either, for the fourth winter in a row.
     My water pipes that were repaired last March broke at first frost.
     Therefore, "waste not, want not" is my motto.              
     Conservation goes a long way as for saving grace, as does moderation in all things.
I suggest we leave extremism to the haters, because "opposites attract" and "like attracts like".
     Like "kindness", this is easier said than done ( and I dare anyone who thinks kindness is weakness give it a try if they want to see what they've got in the way of intestinal fortitude); yet, perhaps neutrality is best in a situation such as ours.
     Be Geneva.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Gang-Stalking the DOJ

I can only agree to disagree regarding involvement by the US Department of Justice (DOJ) in the gang-stalking of average US of A citizens, Capitalist Society and Military Government notwithstanding.
Individuals targeted by the DOJ are far, few and inbetween, and more likely to be ex-military and/or former government officials and personelle.
Likewise, despite HAARP and other similar projects, I hold to the opinion that "Mind-Control via Microwave" is an issue separate from the Electronic Harassment (EH) associated with Organized Gang-Stalking that is grass-roots, hands-on, localized and networked across the country, from chapter to chapter.
Cell phones and computers are equipped with and/or may be modifed to support cameras, VOX and video recorders, GPS, GSM and EMF applications and/or converted to mimic these devices.
Ergo, any moron with a modicum of electronic knowledge, a penchant for Hate Crime and a complete lack of integrity can get on the "Look, ma! I'm a gang-stalker!" bandwagon.
Add camoflage and a Russian assault rifle to the mix and "...we got your Rambo Mike right here" (gang-stalker places one fingerless, khaki-green, gloved hand on crotch to emphasize the point - located on the top of his head)...
MY point being: Cell phone towers, satellites, government-issue UFOs branded "Made in the USA", and the like, emit radiation beams that effect the entire populace. These objects are not programmed to refry the brains of specific individuals and, unlike Ents, they do not "stalk".
Furthermore, the majority of legitimate targets, like me, are NOT dissidents, anarchists, AB affiliates and/or Santanic Church-goers, nor are we important enough to be singled out by the DOJ to be gang-stalked at considerable expense to the 13 members on the World Health Organization (WHO) Board of Directors, who sit on bricks of gold buillion hoarded through generations like  a flock of antideluvian dragons.
While trying to ascertain what in hell is going on and who is behind the stalking these past few years, I've watched the Internet grow rife with people claiming to be targeted by the US DOJ, though what they describe does not include incidents of slander, gaslighting, scapegoating, brighting, mobbing, street theater, cybercrime, cell phone hijacking, the use of common electronic harassment devices, money fraud, property damage, pet murder, shunning, isolation, job loss, homelessness, financial destitution and/or emotional devastation leading to "freak" accidents (deliberate accidents caused by freaks), suicide, homicide and/or the covert acts of terrorism integral to gang-stalking and perpetrated by human beings.
If the DOJ has us on a Black List, it's because of people who infiltrate our ranks, pose as victims and cite the US government in the name of free speech and the American Way in order to hinder our cause.
In my humble opinion, Organized Gang-Stalking is an Organized Crime perpetrated by Organized Crime Ring-leaders and their associates: The shotcallers, career criminals, pocket-police, wanna-bes, community members, et al, who organize to conspire and carry-out the orders to gang-stalk targeted individuals (TIs) because the Rat requesting the "hit" covets the target's money, love and/or power or seeks revenge, likes the sport, is having a Bad-Hair Day and/or simply because s/he CAN.
More to MY point: What - if anything - are TIs doing in the way of self-protection or to bring the perpetrators to justice and this hate crime to a grinding halt?
I ask because I am at my wits end and fresh out of (legal) ideas, though in my opinion (were it legal), 'taint nuttin' that a vigilante band of bat-weilding, wilding Italians can't cure.


The tweakers who are my stalkers can't HELP but "communicate". They don't shut up and they all have cell phones.

No phone time?

No problem! They can hack and clone the time with the best of them!    

Financial wherewithal?

Just a tool shed away. That's what pawn shops are for, don't you know?

Insofar as "organization" is concerned, you've never seen people more organized than drug addicts meeting a connect to get their fix.

You may be right, but this be a VERY small town. Who does what, when, where, why, how and to whom is common knownledge just minutes after (and sometimes BEFORE) it happens.
They don't call it RUMORdodo por nada...