Creative Altruism vs. Destructive Selfishness... Now THERE'S a dichotomous choice!
We all teeter between the two or go from one extreme to the other - some moreso than others.
I'm an old hippie or a Child of the 60's, depending on how you choose look at it.
When I have my own, I spare and share what I have, and I do what I can for someone in want or need. Too bad I have a lot less of my own than I used to and I no longer trust anyone to do for, let alone to do for me.
But... no man is an island, not even here in Billy the Kid country, where folks act like they don't need anything from you, then take what they need PLUS when you're not looking.
I'm not too high, mighty or badass to say that I need help when I need it.
I need it.
The local perps succeeded in dismantling every aspect of my life.
Unfortunately for me (and whoever else they may seek out or encounter), the perps are not branded with the letter "X" or the numbers "666" across the forehead.
Some honed their skills to become what they are and others are simply products of their environment; either way, they all run a pretty smooth confidence game, whereas
I didn't go to school with them nor was I handed a rap sheet and resumé when first we met. I am lucky to get a real first name out of some of these people, let alone a surname.
I imagine, based on the slander that preceded my permanant relocation to this place, the police, et al, assumed I knew with whom I was dealing. They disregarded the fact that I am not from here snd didn't go the school with them.
Perhaps they fail to notice that I don't hang out and I don't scam people.
Way back when, some of the cops and a few of the perps did give me fair warning that proved to be a harbinger of what did come, but I couldn't hear it, so didn't heed it.
This was not recalcitrance on my part; rather, I was alone, flanked, confused, overwhelmed...
I was a gang-stalking target and didn't know it.
Who to trust?
I was greener than green.
What was happening to me was crazy and what I was told sounded even crazier.
I'm no longer green. But, I am in dire straights. This means I'm not above falling prey to the perps again - this time out of desperation.
I am a 61 year old, single woman who is without natural gas since September 2013 and without water since November 2013.
FACT #1: MY CURRENT UTILITY BILL BALANCES WERE/ARE PAID.
FACT #2: PERPS ARE THE REASON WHY I AM WITHOUT THESE UTILITIES.
FACT #3: I AM ON A FIXED INCOME AND LACK THE FUNDS TO REPAIR THE DAMAGE DONE TO MY PIPES AND TRUCK.
FACT #4: PERPS ARE THE REASON WHY NO ONE WILL HELP ME.
FACT #5: I AM AT MY WIT'S END AS TO HOW TO HELP MYSELF.
Perhaps, unbeknownst to who ever runs the show, the utility companies, utility repair companies, supply and hardware stores, human services, churches, and so on down the line, are ALL perped.
The perps seem to have a finger in every pie and there is not an altruistic bone in the bunch.
The perps care that I live and they don't like it one bit.
Case in point: Last Saturday, I ran into a guy I met over a year ago through a mutual friend who is not a perp. He asked how I was doing and I told him of my plumbing problems.
He came by my house that day to check things out and said he would repair the water and gas lines.
He told me he would do the work first on Monday, then on Friday morning. He even went do far as to purchase the necessary parts.
Late Thursday he came by to loan me $40 because he is a "man of his word".
I didn't ASK him to loan me $40.
Friday morning, he was a no-show. All week long he hit on me daily, but I refused to sleep with him.
He didn't show up because I wouldn't put out.
When I texted him my opinion of his untoward behavior, he remained silent. Later he called to deny it and again said he is "a man of his word".
Then he called to tell me he is short of money and at home installing sprinklers to water the trees.
Later, he sent me this text:
"Hay just got out of the shower just relaxing cant get it that good"
He touted himself as being different from all the other guys I've
encountered who staked an altruistic claim that resolved in either the staunch refusal to help me, a decree that they only worked for pay and/or other numerous unfulfilled promises.
I did INDEED pay one of these stand-up men of their word. That one took the money and told me to "go fuck myself".
I'd be better off taking a three-hour drive up to Albuquerque, NM, to pick up a homeless man brandishing a sign bears the legend: "WILL WORK FOR SEX".
Perhaps I'd find an semi-honest man with a modicum of altruism and decency, who would be grateful for three squares, a roof and some pocket change in exchange for work, and who won't pressure me for more.
I thought "altruism" was an intrinsic part of human nature, but more and more, it's proving to be an out-of-character impediment to the dark selfishness that blights the human condition.
I am out-numbered by perps an estimated 200 to 1. If someone is not a perp at first, I can rest, assured s/he will become one.
The Mescalero Apache say, "Tú béhé jindá 'i" ("Water is life.").
ALL living creatures on planet Earth need water to survive, so what the gang-stalkers are telling me by taking away and/or not fixing my water lines is, "DIE."
I may as well leave the water lines broken. It will soon be winter again and my neighbor will zap the pipes with his remote EMF device at first frost anyway. The pipes will come apart easily because whoever I might find to fix them won't bother to attach one another properly, it will be too cold, and I'll be too exhausted gathering the 20 cords of wood I need to stay warm when it's below 0 degrees to care.
So much for altruism on THEIR part.
I DO NOT WANT HELP - or ANYTHING else - from ANYONE who has a black heart, a hidden agenda, a possessed soul and/or an ulterior motive in mind.
I will fend for myself, thank you very much.
And, I will hold fast my altruism, even if being creative with it continues to elude me. It beats the destructive darkness I've come across thus far - all day, EVERY DAY.