Marguerite Elsbeth, the Llewellyn Worldwide author of Crystal Medicine, The Grail Castle, The Silver Wheel and more, and an Organized Gang-Stalking Target from October 2006 to date.
Her blog, Love Knows No Tweakers, presents 1st-hand, real-time accounts (opinions, ideas and suggestions ) of the Organized Gang-Stalking perps who HIT - and STAY.
"There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them."
"Too many monsters; too little time," is one of my favorite sayings. I saw on a children's t-shirt long ago. Yet, the Andre Gide quote above provides the antidote.
There ARE too many monsters and there ISN'T enough time to slay them all, especially if you are a victim of Organized Gang-Stalking, like me. But, it's pointless to fear the monsters we can't kill; rather, we need learn to live with them.
Maybe we should view our monsters as unwelcome housepests, as if they were our extremely annoying Great Aunts, Tilly and Milly, who came for the weekend and took up permanant residence in our guestroom...
They are repetitive, sneaky, careless, a danger to us and others, OLD... but they are dug in for the duration.
Maybe, if we're lucky, we'll have the honor (synonymous with "pleasure") of burying them beneath the floorboards - IF they go first.
But, monsters come in all shapes and sizes. They have many names and some require different kinds of weapons to vanquish them.
I didn't seek out my monsters. They were left on my doorstep by my friendly neighborhood gang-stalkers. I may have placated one and procrastinated when it came to another, but I didn't feed or encourage any of them.
Still, I own them. They're mine NOW, dang it!
They are, in no particular order of importance:
》Broken-Water-Pipes and. Trench-n-Gasline (they're twins, related to Need-A-Plumber)
There are more monsters, to be sure; these are just my IMMEDIATE concerns.
Actually, if I could overcome "Not-Enough-Money", the last monster on the list, I could slay ALL the others I mention, with the possible exception s of "Ex-Handler-Returns" and "Extract-Wisdom-Teeth". These monsters require special care - and more courage than I have at the moment.
However, I DO have a "GO FUND ME" page: "Pretty in Pink Pioneer" at http://www.gofundme.com/arepac
Maybe, if you have one of those monster-slayers, "More-Than-Enough-Money" or "Money-To-Spare" on your side, you can help me deal with "Not-Enough-Money" - and I will get gone the rest - though hopefully NOT make room for more!
"Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness."
~Martin Luther King, Jr.~
Altruism vs. Selfishness... now there's a dichotomous choice!
We all teeter between the two or go from one extreme to the other, albeit some of us moreso than others.
A Child of the 60's, I was the quintessential hippie, with a bell around my neck and flowers in my hair.
Altruism was and IS second nature to most of us born in the early 1950s. That's why I spare and share what I have and do what I can for someone in want or need.
Too bad I have a lot less than I used to and no longer trust anyone to do for, let alone to do for me, because this on-going hate crime, called Organized Gang-Stalking.
But... "no man is an island", not even here in Billy the Kid country, where folks act like they don't need anything, then take what they need, PLUS, when you're not looking.
I'm not too high and mighty or badass to say that I need help when I need it. I NEED it!
The local perps finanally succeede dismantling every aspect of my life, because unfortunately for me (and whoever else they may seek out or encounter), gang-stalkers are not branded with the letter "X" or the numbers "666" across the forehead.
Some honed their skills to become what they are and others are simply products of their environment; either way, they all run a pretty smooth confidence game, whereas
I didn't go to school with them nor was I handed a rap sheet and a resumé when first we met. I am lucky to get a real first name out of some of these people, let alone a surname.
I imagine, based on the slander that preceded my permanant relocation to this place, the police, etal, assumed I knew with whom I was dealing. They disregarded the fact that I am not from here and failed to notice that I don't hang out or scam people.
Way back when, some cops and a few perps did give me fair warning that proved to be a harbinger of what did come, but I couldn't hear it, so didn't heed it.
This was not recalcitrance on my part; rather, I was alone, greener than green, flanked, overwhelmed, confused and scared...
I was a gang-stalking victim and didn't know it.
Who to trust?
What was happening to me was crazy and what I was told about what was happening sounded even crazier.
I'm no longer green. But, I AM in dire straights. This means I'm not above falling prey to the perps again - this time out of desperation.
I am a 61 year old, single woman who is without natural gas since September 2013 and without water since November 2013.
》MY UTILITY BILLS WERE/ARE PAID TO DATE. I AM ON A FIXED INCOME AND LACK THE FUNDS TO REPAIR THE DAMAGE DONE TO MY GASLINE, WATER PIPES AND TRUCK.
》GANG-STALKERS ARE THE REASON WHY I AM WITHOUT NATURAL GAS AND WATER AND NO ONE WILL HELP ME.
》I AM AT MY WIT'S END TRYING TO FIND A SOLUTION TO HELP MYSELF.
Perhaps the utility companies, utility repair companies, supply and hardware stores, human services, churches, and so on down the line, are ALL perped.
The Ruidoso Chapter of the extended Gang-Stalking Network seems to have a finger in every pie - and not a one among them seems to have an altruistic bone in their body.
The perps DO care very much whether or not I live: I'm alive - and they don't like it one bit.
Case in point: Last Saturday, I ran into a guy I met over a year ago through a mutual friend who is not a perp. He asked how I was doing and I told him of my plumbing problems.
He came by my house that day to check things out, said he would repair the water and gas lines, and
would do the work on the coming Monday. (Really. Hmmm...)
Then, Monday changed to Friday morning. (That's more like it.)
Early in the week, he came by to take the parts he said were broken with him in order to purchase the correct new parts.
Later in the week, he came by to loan me $40 because he is a "man of his word".
I didn't ASK him to loan me $40.
Friday morning, he was a no-show.
He hit on me every time he came by. I refused to sleep with him. He didn't show up because I wouldn't put out.
When I texted him my opinion of his untoward behavior, he remained silent. Finally, he called to say he was short of money and at home installing sprinklers to water the trees.
Then, he sent me this text:
"Hay just got out of the shower just relaxing cant get it that good"
He touted himself as being different from "all the other guys" I've
encountered who staked an altruistic claim that resolved in either the staunch refusal to help me, a decree that they only worked for pay and/or other numerous unfulfilled promises.
I did INDEED pay one of these Stand-Up-Men-of-Their-Word.
THAT one took the money and told me to "go fuck myself".
I'd be better off taking a three-hour drive to Albuquerque, NM, to pick up a homeless man brandishing a sign bears the legend: "WILL WORK FOR SEX". A guy that's straight-up from the git-go perhaps would honor an agreement made and not pressure me for more.
I've come to the conclusion that altruism is NOT an intrinsic part of human nature. It's an out-of-character impediment to the dark selfishness that blights the human condition.
Consider: The Mescalero Apache say, "Tú béhé jindá 'i" ("Water is life").
ALL living creatures on planet Earth need water to survive. What my gang-stalkers are telling me by taking away my water andy not allowing anyone to fix the pipes is "DIE."
I am out-numbered by perps on the homefront an estimated 200 to 1. If someone is NOT a perp at first, I can rest, assured s/he will become one given a week or two. Hell...people around here can't sustain "nice" for more than 24 hours!
I may as well leave the water lines broken. Winter is almost here.
I'm cold NOW.
My neighbor will no doubt zap my water pipes with his remote, hand-held EMF device at first frost and the pipes will come apart easily because whoever fixes them won't bother to solder them together.
Anyway, it will be TOO cold to fix them once the temperature falls into the single digits and I'll be too exhausted from gathering the 20 cords of wood necessary to stay alive for yet another winter to care.
So much for altruism on THEIR part.
I DO NOT WANT HELP - or ANYTHING else - from ANYONE who has a black heart, a hidden agenda, a possessed soul and/or an ulterior motive.
I will fend for myself, thank you very much - and hold fast my altruism - even if being creative with it continues to elude me.
It sure beats the destructive darkness I've come across thus far - ALL DAY, EVERYDAY, ONLINE AND OFF - for the 7.10 years I've been a hate crime victim.
THE WOLF AND THE LAMB
(Aesop's Fables by George Fyler Townsend) WOLF, meeting with a LAMB astray from the fold, resolved not to lay violent hands on him, but to find some plea to justify to the Lamb the Wolf's right to eat him.
He thus addressed him: "Lamb, last year you grossly insulted me."
"Indeed," said the lamb in a mournful tone of voice, "I was not then born."
Then said the Wolf, "You feed in my pasture."
"No, Wolf," replied the Lamb, "I have not yet tasted grass."
Again said the Wolf, "You drink of my well."
"No," exclaimed the Lamb, "I never yet drank water, for as yet my mother's milk is both food and drink to me."
Upon which the Wolf seized him and ate him up, saying, "Well! I won't remain supperless, even though you refute every one of my imputations." MORAL: The tyrant will always find a pretext for his tyranny.
The perpetrators of Organized Gang-Stalking rationalize and justify their hidden agenda by blaming the Targeted Individual (TI) for commiting the crimes they are commiting against the victim.
Community members who believe the perps act out against the victim based on hearsay devoid of truth: slander (the spoken word) or libel (the written word).
The target may or may NOT be aware or IS aware but confused by the allegations because s/he is innocent of any wrong-doing.
TIs who are on the outside looking in need make haste slowly in discerning who are the wolves in sheep's clothing and take a stand in favor of community or risk losing one of their own to the perps, whose only intention is to dismember the community by devouring TIs one by one.
Virtual perps follow the same script read by our perps in real time and their tactics are the same as those used against us in our own targeting. Therefore, "....by their fruits, ye shall know them..."
New arrivals to the TI Community and targets with a profile page offering an ambiguous photo along with a handle instead of a real name wave a red flag, but there may be a true TI with sound reason for privacy behind the faux front.
We can be watchful and wary, but we cannot, without validation, reach a fair assessment due to a TI's Social Network profile persona alone; in fact, it is wrong to assume and/or accuse anyone of anything in a public forum without having valid, conclusive evidence to substantiate your claims.
Any misgivings about a person, shared one on one in confidence must so remain until further notice, as to do otherwise is a betrayal to all concerned.
Likewise, visceral emotions - bias, jealously, subjective thoughts and unfounded fears, residual anger, prior disagreements and/or simple distaste or dislike of a fellow TI have no place in the assessment of another's character.
We are NOT PERPS. We are CRIME VICTIMS, and it's up to each one of us to behave accordingly, to have dignity and to treat each other with compassion, kindness, acceptence snd respect. PERPS:
》Claim target status to infiltrate online TI Communities, share misinformation and gain individual and community confidence.
》Have more than one FB profile page to "tag team" or "mob" a victim, produce faux "TIs" to support their lies, bear witness in their favor or to see what TIs are saying, thinking and doing should the perp(s) be discovered, blocked or have their page removed for TOS violations.
》 Enumerate profile pages and websites you frequent in order to feed you false information from a trusted source.
》Add and remove the people on your Friend's List and the blocks you put in place.
》Hack the victims FB page, mobile phone and/or computer to alter words, delete evidence and freeze applications, mobile device and/or machine.
》 Have a sinister Presence that is palpable when they enter a chat room or lurk on a thread.
》Block the victim's ability to know what they are saying and doing.
》 Refuse to acknowlegde an incident for which they are in any way responsible; when presented with hardcore evidence, they continue to lie, deny, accuse, defame and blame the victim.
》Are charismatic, charming and very convincing actors in their role as victim.
A TI who is targeted by those who, heretofor, claimed to be his or her peers is likely to be confused, feel frustrated, get angry and lash out against members of the community re. their silence, the withdrawal of friendship, lack of support, expressions of doubt, betraying trust, siding with the perps or citing the victim's negative behavior without explanation.
TIs need remember how they felt when they were forsaken by friends and family members who you thought eould have known better than to believe the lies. Likewise, a TI should know a perp when s/he sees one as well as recognize one of their OWN. When it comes to cyberstalking and cyberharassment, if not for the grace of God, goes me or you or any one of us. Gang-stalk walk and gang-stalk talk has no place in a TI community that is the sole refuge for many of it's members who are easily triggered and traumatized, and whose lives are irrevocably damaged by the gang-stalkers on the homefront. We are ALL scapegoats in the wilderness.
We ALL bear the burden of sin for our naysayers, non-believers and stalkers to No-Where that is a vacuum, lost in desolation wherein no can hear our silent screams of innocence, abandoned to a place where no justice can prevail.
Total annihilation for all true targets is to outcast our own from No-Where until No One exists and we become No-th ing at all.
"You're either part of the solution or you're part of the problem."
What is the true purpose behind the deliberate, prolongated, torture of Organized-Stalking victims? This seems to be a burning question among Targeted Individuals (TIs) these days. I say "burning" because Electronic Harassment (EH) and Directed Energy Weapons (DEWS) are the primary means of torture. Unfortunately, the information gleaned online via social networks and anti-gang-stalking websites accounts for the bulk of the average TI's knowledge-base regarding "who" is stalking us, "why" and "how". And, save what first-hand information comes one's way through another TI, ostensibly the information gleaned is HEARSAY. TIs who are "in-the-know" have much wisdom to share and many real time, up close and personal stalking stories to tell, but for the newbie TI, it's overwhelming to hear, difficult to comprehend, impossible to process and too-much-too-soon to accept what sounds like so much "crazy" talk. In fact, there IS NO rational explanation because one cannot rationalize irrational behavior. However, Organized-Stalking is both networked and scripted, so there must be a well thought-out plan in which targets play an integral part. This tells me that the Dog & Pony Show - all the Street Theater, gaslighting, smoke-screening, finger-pointing, noise-making and sneaking around that takes place at the onset - is a blind. The old adage, "Where there's smoke, there's fire", is not always the case for TIs. If there is smoke on the right, I tend to look for fire on the left - and I always eschew all coincidence from the situation at hand. Seasoned targets are aware that the Organized-Stalking movement has a "hidden" agenda; after all, we deal with the stalkers on a daily basis. Still, we are not 100% sure what their ultimate game plan is - and when we attempt to tell others what is happening or what we think is happening, it makes no sense - sometimes not even to us. The new-fangled modus operandi pertaining to gang-stalking - EH snd DEWS - lends to the fray; at least, it did so for me because I didn't understand the high-tech phraseology - and all the talk about the stalking being sanctioned by the US government really put me off and still does. I've been subject to Electronic Harassment (EH) via GPS, GSM, remote EMF, hidden surveillance MICs, mini-cameras, video and VOX recording, for the better part of the seven years, eight months I am targeted. But, the local tweakers are the ones doing this to me. I can't imagine the US government would have anything to do with these vile creatures short of putting them in jail, even if we do live in the United States of Texas on the Planet of the Apes. I was also thrown by all the "microwaved brain" aka Diected Energy Weapons (DEWS) talk, until I realized that any yoyo can put two microwave ovens together to crank up the radiation output, aim them at your house and fire away. Seven years constitutes a mini lifecycle; I was hoping to be free of this mess at the seven-year mark. I'm not free of it. Neither have I been incarcerated or institutionalized. But, I may be dead and just don't know it. Local targets and non-targets alike don't seem to see or hear me. If they do, they are ignoring me. I guess they'd rather invalidate me than believe me or - God forbid - they just may have to do something to help me! I haven't fully investigated Remote Neural Monitoring (RNM). This is yet another way targets say they are being stalked. So, as much as I'd like to address the issue regarding the true, underlying purpose of gang-stalking, first I must ask: What IS "gang-stalking" these days? Several years ago, gang-stalking was an organized crime-related, grassroots venture instigated by a hateful someone who, for revenge or sport, targeted an innocent person. Local perpetrators (perps) aka cause-, group-, multiple-, gang- and/or community-stalkers then terrorized the target, using covert ops to destroy the person's life in increments over time, thus driving the victim to incarceration, insanity, suicide or death by hands-off murder, such as poisoning or freak "accident". Almost overnight, the entire face of Organized-Stalking changed. Now it's become a global endeavor instigated by the Illuninati, Jews, the World Health Organization (WHO), President Obama, Homeland Security (DHS), The National Security Agency (NSA), the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI),the USA Department of Jusice (DOJ), and perhaps even the family dog, to establish the New World Order (NWO) via Chemtrails, Haarp, Directed Energy Weapons (DEWS), Electronic Harassment (EH), Bio API, microwaves, microchips and fiberoptics to acquire above-ground terra firma for Satan and it's minions, Vril, Aloah Grays and evil people who are culling the world population by doing away with selected-at-birth, blood-contracted humans. That would be the Targeted Individuals. We are the Chosen Ones. Aren't we special? Victims of this hate crime have come out of hiding. There are TI support groups in different parts of the country. "ORGANIZED-STALKING INFORMERS (OSI)", "TARGETED INDIVIDUALS" and "ORGANIZED GANG-STALKING (Call Talk)", are just a few of the anti gang-stalking groups on facebook.com and the Internet. Anti Gang-Stalking billboards have gone up along the California Highways. Still, there is something about this newfound form of Organized-Stalking that, thanks to social networking, smacks of Street Theater in the form of Cyber Theater and the gaslighting of targets on a mass scale. What better way to compromise, frighten and/or brainwash confused, distraught, impressionable, exhausted and/or traumatized victims of this on-going hate crime than via social networking? Is it possible the perps want targets to look in the wrong direction in order to keep us from uniting, helping each other and ourselves, finding common ground and a solution that will end this radical injustice? If you are a target, please take a moment to ask yourself: Would your day be "with" or "without" stalking-related incident - or reminders of incidents past - if you obstained from accessing Organized-Stalking-related social networks, forums and/or websites? I don't read the newspaper, watch the news or vote. I avoid negative input that doesn't belong to me or about which I can do nothing to remedy or change for myself or someone else. Maybe all the aforementioned, alleged "lunatic fringe" topics are new news to some people. These topics may even be relevant, for when taken into account all at once, they do seem to form a Macrocosm of which Organized-Stalking is a microcosmic part. Maybe these more exotic concerns are blinds meant to keep us from seeing and resolving the actual, immediate problems that come as result of being targeted. Maybe we are far too focused upon ascertaining the true purpose behind why the stalkers are inflicting so much suffering on innocent people. I fail to see what good it does us to know the real hidden agenda if TIs continue to run in ten different directions. No one TI can handle the legal issue of Organized-Stalking alone. Thus far, the targets I've encountered locally are either perped to the max or just full of shit perps. There ARE some true targets online, but most seem to be Perps-in-TI-Clothing. TIs isolate to avoid being inundated by perps, though they are put upon daily. And, they are overly-cautious, if not downright afraid, to reach out to doctors, lawyers, local/state law enforcement, the FBI, therapists or anyone in a position to possibly help them due to having very ugly experiences with all of the above. I've had similar up front reactions from the same sources as described by my fellow targets, but I've also had help from those sources, albeit from behind the scenes. There may be more folks like the TIs I've talked with by phone, but for the most part, the TIs online seem hell bent to beat their own drum regarding what's happening to us and why, and either don't seem to be interested in finding a common denominator upon which to approach the problems or have simply given up. I tend to think that wanting to know Organized-Stalking's hidden agenda is become a macabre fascination for many targets, myself included. Speaking for myself, garnering and sharing information with other alleged TIs is Problem Avoidance, for in so doing, I'm alleviated of the responsibilty to accept my current fate and from making an attempt, however futile, to repair my vandalized home, salve my mortal emotional wounds and endure what remains of this lifetime that is desecrated by evil people via unholy ways and unsanctified means. I am beginning to believe that the perps actually did me an unwitting favor by forcing upon me the role of Pioneer Woman and a back-to-basics lifestyle. Perhaps TIs need be free of enslavement by computers, televisions and other electromagnetic devices - to pull the plug, get off the grid, grow and breed our own groceries as much and as soon as circumstance, funding and time allows. TIs may also want to consider paying off all debt and becoming Sovereign Citizens, an extreme measure that renders one free from government, statues and taxation as well as making one non-existant in the eyes of society and the world-at-large. I already feel non-existent. Life IS passing me by. I'm not allowed to have friends or a mate, I can't participate in anything without it getting blown out of the water, I literally have NO WATER since November 2013, I'll most likely never have natural gas again and NO ONE will help me. I'm a scapegoat in the wilderness, marked and burdened by a multitude of sins not my own. No one can hear my silent screams... not even the OTHER scapegoats, save just a few. A "solution revolution" is in order. The time is past nigh - and the sooner the better.
I don't believe there are more than a handful of real grassroots gang-stalking targets in this, the US of A. I say this because I, speaking for myself, being a genuine, all-American, Targeted Individual (TI), don't have the time, money, energy or inclination to play head games with people. If anything, I am too straight up. But, the local targets I've encountered surely do seem to have just that. I am not insensitive; I don't want anyone to hurt like I've been hurt. I thought others who are targeted would feel the same way. NOT. Instead, I'm finding that the opposite is true: Some TIs tend to lash out at other TIs like wounded beasts and kiss perp ass, whereas the perps seems to stay on an even keel and relentlessly spank target ass. Go figure. Who needs it? I do NOT need or want my head bitten off by ANYONE, be they perp, perped target, pure target or non-participant... ....though I do hope all you TIs out there understand that a "pure" target is a rareity these days. Very few - if any - victims of this heinous hate crime can stake THAT claim; after all, day in and day out, we are surrounded by perps, known and unknown. And, to be perfectly honest with y'all, the targets in my vicinity have done slim to Jackshit NADA to help me out. Any and ALL help I've received locally has come from total strangers or perps. This doesn't say much for the targeted community, now, does it? Granted, TIs are: 》Wounded 》Damaged 》Dealing with irrational and/or criminal behavior in others 》Presenting with trust issues, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and the like 》Shunned 》Isolated 》Afraid But, so are strangers, your perped neighbors-family-friends and some of the perps! When I attempt to interact with or help a local target, SO AM I AFRAID. In FACT: I may have a better chance of escaping with my personal possessions and my heart-on-my-sleeve intact were I to have a heart-to-heart with WTF EVER is running this Dog & Pony Show than I do in my dealings with my fellow targets. As targets, we are ALL put upon. But, just because we are INNOCENT doesn't mean we are all sugar, spice and everything nice in every way and everything we say and do, nor does it give us carte blanche to lash out at another target because we deem them "safe". I'm a GOOD person. I don't initiate problems. I help the majority of those who ask for my help if and when I can. But, I'm not always "nice". Sometimes I'm downright ornery, especially when I feel disgusted with folks who need to be AWAKE and AWARE regarding what they are doing, to whom and why - only to find they are fast asleep. HOLA, buena gente! TIEMPO DE levantarse Y BRILLO Y AROMA DEL CAFÈ! I don't hear anything, do you? Maybe they are being mind-controlled or their brains are microwaved to a cinder or they are simply having a bad hair day. All the more I can say is: If ignorance IS bliss, some TIs - and ALL perps - must be in Samadhi.
Please take a moment to look at your mobile phone or computer keyboard. Find the letter "S" to the far left of the middle row. Note that the letter "A" at the end of the middle row is adjacent to "S" on the left... and read on. FRIDAY, May 9, 2014, 9:30 PM: I received a call from a woman named Shell, who is an associate of a man I met two months ago through a mutual friend. I was not on speaking terms with Shell at the time. I hesitated to get back to her. But, curiousity got the better of me, so I texted her. "What's up?" I asked. She texted me back to say that the gentleman in question took her to a complimentary room at the Inn of the Mountain Gods, a local casino 5-star hotel, where he slipped a date-rape drug into her glass of Crown Royal and proceeded to have his way with her. I am grateful I chose to keep things on a "FRIENDS-ONLY " basis with the man, despite his becoming increasingly more angry with me because he wasn't getting any. My reasons for delaying consumation of the relationship were well-founded: He is obsessed with a yet ANOTHER woman with whom - according to him - he had an ill-begotten, one-sided, very expensive, sexless relationship that cost him mega attorney fee and his freedom more than once, and, in my opinion, may cost him his life if he doesn't chill out. In fact, his careless, selfish actions, free-floating anger and passive-aggressive behavior put me in harm's way. Be that as it may, the man had little concern for my safety and comfort. I explained ALL of the above to Shell via text and received the following three texts from her in reply: 1/3. "U WERE WILLING TO TAKE A COUPLE HUNDRED TO GAMBLE AND PAY BILLS AND SET HIM UP WITH A WOMAN TO SCREW WHILE U GAMBLED. U TALK TO HIM BEHIND MY BACK." Shell 2/3 "...HE ASKED U TO STAY AT THE [HOTEL] ROOM. U DIDNT WANT TO, HE SAID. SO U ASKED SOMEONE ELSE TO DO HIM. THATS WHY U TOLD ME, "F. HIM SND HIS MONEY." Shell 3/3 "....U HAD THAT PLAN AND IT BACKFIRED AND IM DONE TALKING." Shell Do people not have discernment of their own perceptions? During the short time I've know her, Shell has asked for my help and I helped her. Shell has asked me for rides. I drove her. Shell has wanted explanations. I explained to her. Still, not only did Shell deliver Bad News with RELISH, she delivered a crock of shit and a pack of lies, dug into the dirt and wallowed in it before kicking it in my face! I received no more text from her until the following evening, wherein she edited her script, rewrote history, plead the 5th and denied ALL, but NOT before sharing ALL with HIM. FYI. I did not say anything about setting him up to get laid so I can pay bills and gamble to HER. Rather, I said something to that effect to an ex-would-be topless dancer via text during a conversation we shared a few weeks ago. My remark was tongue in cheek and taken out of context. I ended the conversation with the qualifier, "I never did anything like that in my entire life and I don't intend to start now." As a matter of course, the qualifier was omitted. The original phrase I sent via SMS reads like this:
"F. HIM SND HIS MONEY."
Shell read it this way:
"F. HIM. "SEND" HIS MONEY."
FACT: I hit the letter "S" by accident, and created a TYPO. I meant to tap the letter "A", which changes the phrase to read:
"F. HIM "AND" HIS MONEY."
Duuuuuuuuh! O. I. C...
Prior to the charade, I told him the same and added that I could not be bought. During, was bought - he bought the bullshit - crook, line and stinker. Following, I forwarded him the text messages I received from Shell - and was met with silence. I contacted Shell and the ex-would-be topless dancer and was met with more silence. It seems silence is the way to go - IF you are a perp...
"I tell you the past is a bucket of ashes, so live not in your yesterdays, not just for tomorrow, but in the here and now. Keep moving and forget the post mortems; and remember, no one can get the jump on the future."
I am told by EVERYONE to put the gang-stalking behind me. I do...
I SHIT IN A BUCKET.
I apologize if this is an unseemly thing to say. I am a dignified person and having to do so is about as undignified, unseemly and behind me as it gets. Having NO WATER and, consequently, NO FLUSH TOILET, every winter from November through March for the past four winters, with my current situation beginning in October 2013, lasting through this month of April and most likely into May, SUCKS. Furthermore, I have NO NATURAL GAS due to having NO BRAKES and careening backwards over my gasline back in September 2013. My entire house runs on natural gas! I will have NO COOK STOVE and NO HOT WATER, IF I ever do have running water again. And, I can't remedy the situation because I have NO MONEY to spare. I have to laugh at the commentary I received on a previous post by the Christian Third Reicht, saying I will go to hell for my sins. I'm already in hell. Where is he at? My guess: He's sitting on the throne, reading the Good Book. I contend that a true Christian knows loving-kindness, willing-acceptance and has good, old fashioned sympathy for the human condition we ALL share, and would volunteer to fix my plumbing, rather than tell me I'm a sinner. Furthermore, despite my discomfort, the gang-stalkers are concerned that I am without a "handler". A handler is a manager, a person who oversees the targets affairs, or, as in my case, a Reindeer Friend or Lover sent by the gang-stalkers to play Reindeer Games with me, mismanage my affairs and report all they see and experience during their time spent with me back to headquarters. I had TWO of these yoyos in my life for a while: One was a "friend", the other a "lover", and both were haters. There is nothing for a handler to do in MY world, save position the bucket. THAT, in and of itself, would be worth the price of admission. Too bad for THEM: There will be NO MORE HANDLERS. I've had it with the bullshit. I want REAL-lationships and REAL-ationships I shall have - as soon as I recover from the last Reindeer Lover aka handler, who neglected to handle me with care and gave himself up in the end when, via text, he said, "....Well, I need somebody to watch your fucking store." "WHAT "store"? I shit in a bucket," I countered. But, I know he knows I'm not in the business of selling fertilizer or in any business at all. I'm a stay-at-home target. Making sure no one calls Belkins Van Lines to load up my material possessions, and protecting me and mine, is a thankless, 24/7, 8-day-a-week job with no time and a half, and no time off for holidays - or fair to middlin' behavior. Gang-stalkers are human (I think), though not to be confused with humane. This means they are not infallible. Handlers are higher up in the food chain than the average, garden-variety, gang-stalking goon. I assume they are hand-picked by those above them because they are semi-coherent, willing to take orders and easily manipulated into doing what is required for a partial share in the spoils of war - in addition to the prerequisite dime bag. This means we can manipulate them, too. (hint...hint...) Still, I'm getting too old, ornery and impatient to play head games. If I'm in the market for mental masturbation, I can get it on Facebook from the "Parasitically-Infected-Targeted-Individuals-With-Refried-Brains-Due-To-Under-Handed-Above-Top-Secret-Star-Wars-Technology" crowd. Or from links such as http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread921383/pg1, the title of which is "Wake Up and Smell the Coffee" and at the end of which the author suggests targets are "paranoid". Yeah. I'm paranoid the bucket will fall over with me on it and shit in it. I bet HE has heat and hot running water in the wintertime, and a year-round flush toilet. I don't want anything from anyone unless it's given freely and from the heart, so beyond what is dropped in the bucket, I guess I'm just shit out of luck. So, you best believe me when I say: Not even a Handler-With-Care-BEAR is getting so much as a stuffed, faux fur foothold in my door - and any remote handlers put in place to call the shots in MY life can handle THIS... However, to be fair, the gang-stalkers are not much better off than we are: In fact, they are both the stalkER AND the stalkEE. When you think about it, those who choose to precide over targets and shot call what befalls us believe they are doing something good, due to propaganda, brain-washing, falsified paperwork, money, dope and who-all-knows-WTF else. They MUST. They must believe the lies because playing Show and Tell to shut down their Dog and Pony Show for the past 7.6 years has not moved them to stop stalking me one iota. The handlers don't know we are innocent nor do they realize they were targeted for the job. If the gang-stalking handlers would wake up and join forces with the targets, perhaps this whole gang-stalking thing would come to a grinding halt. THAT would be nice. Then we would ALL be free from enthrallment and maybe I could have indoor plumbing for a change. THAT would be nice, too.
"If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth."
~Logan Pearsall Smith~
Since becoming a target of Organized Gang-Stalking, I learned to state first-hand facts without embellishment and to alert the listener when the story I'm telling is theoretical or hearsay. Perhaps it's because I'm so exacting that I am deemed a liar. It's a fact that people eschew what I have to say. The fact that I can backup most of my words with documentation matters not; no one cares to see it. Most prefer to believe I am full of shit and leave it at that...IF I am asked to tell my side of the story, which is rare. Not once in the 7.6 year Slander Campaign engendered by the stalkers that has ruined my reputation and put me in harm's way has anyone bothered to ask me if what they heard is true. I find it odd, for what they've heard runs from the ridiculous to the sublime to the downright dangerous. According to the perps, I am a: 》Kiddy-porn film maker 》Schizophrenic 》Meth cook and needle junkie 》Madam and a ho 》Satanic worshipper and witch 》Money bags 》Disrespectful, lacking ettiquette The last entries on the above list are most recent. It is said I am disrespectful by those who proved to be faux friends and stole from me, and I was told I lack ettiquette by a woman who spat forth the charming phrase, "Lick me where I shit." The gang-stalkers are well aware that their slander wreaks hands-on havoc in my life, while the non-targeted non-participants find what I have to say unbelievable, the non-partisaned standers-by do not care and the authorities add to the frey by saying I see "little green men" in my computer. Say what? My computers were compromised beyond repair starting in 2006. I'm a published author without a working machine since 2009; in fact, I use a mobile phone to access the Internet. Still, I am forced to change cell phones and phone numbers more often than some folks change their underwear because my phones are hijacked on a regular basis. Were I to set down on paper in chronological order, all that has befallen me since I arrived in Ruidoso... or even since September 2013, Steven King would beg permission for authorship and movie rights. FACT: ALL of that which has happened to me - IS happening to me - has occured as a result of my first being slandered and subsequently, due to people who choose to embrace lies over truth, falsely assume and/or accuse, and REACT to what they've heard without considering the source or bothering to validate a fucking thing. I've said this before, in prior blog posts, that in order to stop the newly targeted from being gang-stalked, the slander must be nipped in the bud. But, victims of this on-going hate crime do not realize they are being set-up for a fall at the onset. The slander has already taken root in the deep minds of neighbors, co-workers, business associates, shop-owners, aquaintances, friends, lovers, life-mates, family, law enforcement personelle and total strangers, and it appears to be too late to do anything about it, especially if you don't know who started it. Still, to my way of thinking, there is truth and the lie, and there is FACT and the lie. Truth is a matter of perception, colored shades of gray and a paradox at best, but FACTS are, for the most part, irrefutable. In other words, 10 witnesses at an accident whereupon someone was killed may see 10 different things, but the victim is dead, and that's a fact. Slander can be refuted with factual information at any time if one knows who is responsible for perpetrating the lies and it can be proven that what is said is the cause of damage to life, limb and property. I have yet to practice what I preach and file a lawsuit for Defamation of Character, though I know the culprits by name, I have evidence and my life is in shambles because of it. My problem with doing so is, win or lose, the material damage is done and the perps don't have a pot to piss in, so there will be no restitution. Neither will I be vindicated even if my reputation is restored; there is too much water under the bridge for me to trust apologizes from people who came after me based on what somebody told them - with or without proof. Sorry IS as sorry DOES. I was new here. The slander preceded my arrival. I was assailed by total strangers right from the start, subject to unprovoked attack. I can't imagine doing the same to someone, known or unknown, were the situation reversed. Case in point: I've been seeing someone on and off for the past two years, who was told I was trying to set him up two months into our relationship. He did an abrupt turn around, threw me into a wall and threatened me. He never spent a full night with me again, came and went sporadically, and took up with three other women in the course of our relattionship - and he put them first. Finally, he moved without telling me. When I found out where he lived, he banned me from going to his apartment because his latest girlfriend lived next door and he didn't want me to know about her. When he relented and invited me to his home, he threw me out, claiming I was disrespectful to him or his environment. His girlfriend made sure he was privvy to slander put forth by people who don't even know me and who claim I disrespected them, so he took up the gauntlet. I was thrown out 9/10 I was invited to visit him, for reasons that boggled my mind: I was a "lying, thieving whore like the rest of them", a sexual "tease", a "game-player", taking disrespectful liberties and telling him what to do. I knew he had been compromised against me, though he denied it. I told him not to contact me, but he kept coming back to love me and leave me over and over again. I made a valiant effort to make him believe in me when we were together in hope to turn it all around because I was in love with him, but his suspicion, doubt and distrust of me continued to grow, and his treatment of me got worse. Finally, I told him, "NO CONTACT" and tried to make it stick. But, he came around and I lost my resolve one last time. This time he hit me upside the head, so hard that I crumbled to the floor and saw stars. Then he grabbed me by the hair on both sides of my head and held my face one inch from his screaming that I dissatified him sexually and deserved everything I got, and then opened the dpor to throw me out, though I was stark naked. I kept my wits about me long enough to get my clothes on, grab my pocketbook and truck keys and go. He told me if I called the police he'd kill me. I believe he was trying to kill me all along by driving me to commit suicide in ever greater measure. I am more afraid of him now that he no longer has a soft spot for me as that was the only thing to keep him in check. He was a bad guy to begin with, capable of loving kindness, bur volatile to a fault. He hates the perps, but chooses to live among them for, like it or not, they are his peers. Cons and ex-cons rule in Ruidoso, NM. If you've never been incarcerated, you are nothing and no one worthy to be given the time of day. Well, I've got news for all the Billy The Kid impersonators who think it's okay to slander me to the point of putting my life in jeapardy: You are not all THAT. Incarceration doesn't make a hair on the ass of what it's like to be gang-stalked. I've got your solitary confinement right here. I've never known "lonely" like this before I came to this place, where liars are held in high esteem, facts are a figment of the imagination and I am thought of as a liar for telling the truth.
"Whoever battles with monsters had better see that it does not turn him into a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you."
I lost all my long term friends soon after I relocated to Ruidoso, NM, in October 2006. Two commited suicide; the others went away after my both my laptop computers were hijacked and my new up and coming website development, design & hosting business was destroyed. Following those occurences, I literally had no means to remain in contact with the outside world for a long time. That's how the gang-stalking started and it was here in Ruidoso, NM, that it all began, thanks to the vicious slander put forth by my ex-husband, Bill Schillings, who targeted me approximately 5 years after our divorce in December 2001. My neighbors and many other local folk were compromised against me by the slander prior to my arrival. Since, after being innundated with perps, I am allowed only one person in my life at a time, a Reindeer "friend" or "lover" who plays Reindeer Games because they are one of THEM. All acquaintances, and potential friends and lovers who are not affiliated with the stalkers are either recruited or frightened away. I ASSUME that's what happens. No one asks me for my side of the story or tells me straight up why they suddenly stop engaging with me. They are here one minute, gone the next - ALL OF THEM. The person sent by the gang-stalkers who is to be my darling companion - aka handler, watcher, babysitter or WTF ever you want to call them (I've been known to call them lots of names) starts off the "relationship" in all sincerity and understanding, in need of help and with promises abundant help back at me. Two weeks in, they tip their hand by doing something bordering on sadistic, something bad enough to give me pause and for them to leave me alone. Then, once the dust settles, they come back and do it all over again, only worse; always, they up the drive-me-to-suicide anti, hoping to break me down. Pop psychology says the onerous is on me; I am responsible for what ails me and it's up to me to end the cycle of abuse by refusing them entry and by no longer engaging with them or people like them. But, those who believe that jargon go home to a nice, warm, fully-functional house with hot, running water and a flush toilet, while I come home to bathe in a pot and shit in a bucket in a freezing cold house although my utility bills were paid in full, because mine is not a perfect world. I am targeted because my ex-husband wanted MY house and later compensated the local theft ring leader with MY house to pay HIS debt. I'm a passenger on a run-away train careening down a one way track. I live in Gang-Stalking World due to the greed and jealousy of hateful others, through no fault of my own. If I am at fault it's due to being shunned and isolated. I get attached easily or fall in love with the wrong person or I choose to believe the sob stories I'm told or I think the perps will have mercy on me and see the light or Prince Charming will come to my rescue and take me away from all this. But, the meth addicts, thieves and/or violent felon who are without conscience and have nothing to lose, are those who are sent my way to babysit, rob me and hurt me to the bone. Time and again, I am kissed by a frog and awaken to the silent scream nightmares are made of instead. Still, when I start to balk and complain too loudly, I am soon offered a RELAY-tionship, a stalker who once had a foot in my door who is here temporarily until the handler I'm rejecting and ejecting either makes a comeback or the shotcaller finds a replacement I am willing to allow in to fool me and hurt me again. It took courage on my part and was tantamount to chewing off a limb, but I recently send my hitman-handler of the past 2 years packing, discouraged the relays and now refuse to open my door - or my legs - to another contender sent to help me to meet my demise. I am currently handler-free. There is no one to monitor me or raise me up to new heights, only to drop me on my head. Call me Patty Herst. Maybe I suffer from the Stockholm Syndrome. I don't know what to do with them or myself. The stalkers happy that I am without a handler. I can feel them wracking their collective shit-for-brains regarding who to send in to dupe me into acceptance, attachment and/or love next. Chance encounters and REAL-ationships no longer exist for me; like natural gas and running water, a real-ationship may never exist for me again. Maggy-May-NOT. Too many monsters... too little time. The stalkers already stole 7.6 of the last best years of my life. Now I'm 61 years old. The monsters are still out to get me and time is NOT on my side. No one is... THAT'S a fact. I fell hard for my last Reindeer Lover, but when he dropped the mask, I took off my rose-colored glasses and stopped "he loves me, he loves me not" from running around in my head. He loves me NOT. He is a hater. He hates me for being a good person. Moreso, he hates me for loving him and disdains me for my weakness and stupidity in the face of who he is and what he was ultimately sent my way to do. I want to know love... I want to dance and sing and be free to have a life again But, my time is spent battling monsters in the guise of gang-stalkers. I have no fear becoming one of them. They are what I NEVER was nor EVER will I be... but, although I will not gaze into the abyss, the abyss IS gazing into me.